So I turn 26 on December 2nd.
This year has been…… interesting.
I don’t even know where to begin so maybe I should show you my presents first. I’m a pretty big “birthday person” overall, not gonna lie. I enjoy presents and fusses and the whole nine yards! 😉 And I’m EXTREMELY excited about this year’s haul and plans! The things I’m putting in this post are the ones I chose myself and then and pulled a “hey you can buy me this for my birthday” on. Obviously the actual day is still a week away, so I’ll have to provide some updates on everything!
My mom is getting me an amazing faux cow rug, which I am super excited about! It’s unfortunately sold out (glad we acted when we did!) but it’s similar in style to this one. I’d been wanting a cow rug since the move and when Nordstrom rack had one at a “main birthday present” price tag instead of an “OUCH” price tag, I knew it had to be mine!
She got me these cute tops from Nordstrom Rack too:
She is also taking me and Stephen to Ruth’s Chris happy hour on my birthday!!! I can’t wait!
The big celebration, however, is going to be TOMORROW!!! My friend Andrea and I are throwing a joint birthday party at The Canopy. We named it Sagittarius Fest 2016 and it’s going to be such a blast!!!
I seriously cannot wait.
Stephen and his buddy Adam (Andrea’s husband!) are throwing the party for us, and the four of us are having dinner beforehand.
Speaking of my handsome hubby, he also got me some clothes. 😉
I got the velvet dress in black; it just won’t show up in the widget! Can you tell I’m into the velvet trend?! I got the basic dresses for days I work at the boutique and the velvet PJs and Wifey nightie for the days I work from home. I also can’t wait to get all Lolita with the frilly socks. Maybe I’ll actually manage to swing an outfit post one of these days. It’s been awhile but photo editing takes forever. I have so much respect for women who work full time AND blog semi full time AND often have kiddos to boot. Like, what?! How? Hats off to those girls!
Anyway this post is about me and my birthday so let’s talk about that again. 😉
It’s been an unusual year.
In some ways I feel like I haven’t done much, but I guess it was hard to follow up
*age 24*~~ }]
First and foremost, I got married to the man of my dreams at age 24! Nothing can really compete with that.
Secondly, I catapulted to heights of the fashion world I would have never imagined possible. When I signed with my mother agency at age almost-24, I thought I’d maybe work a local shoot or two. And somehow I spent 4.5 months of age 24 in NYC and Milan. Whoa.
Granted, being 24 was also exhausting.
It’s exhausting to plan a wedding. It’s exhausting to be away from the man you’re about to marry/just married. The stress on your body from modeling is exhausting, and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can admit to myself and loved ones that I struggled with something that felt sort of like an eating disorder during most of age 24.
I concluded age 24 with a bittersweet move from SF back to the South. Far, far, far more sweet than bitter, but still a big change.
So wow, @ age 24…you held lot of things!!!
Age 25 was less, uh, idk, just less:
Eight months in NC. Blogging, emotional breakdowns, P90x, and a little bit of content creation for Stephen’s company.
Our 1 year anniversary. <3
Getting hired part-time at a local boutique and starting as a Juice Plus+ rep.
Questioning where I want to go with my modeling dreams vs. being more “settled.”
More emotional breakdowns. (By the way, there were plenty at age 24 too. But they seemed more justified when life was busier and intenser. The non-career woman, non-wedding planning, mostly-just-a-housewife breakdowns of age 25 sometimes hurt worse because I felt like a useless brat to boot.)
Me wondering why my family put up with my self-indulgent sh*t.
Them assuring me I’m a wonderful person and deserve their love.
Me crying harder when they say those things.
Sooo yeah….. age 25, y’all. Not as exciting. But also pivotal somehow.
I hope age 26 is when it all starts to come together.
I’d love to have the excitement of age 24 while retaining the growth of age 25. While carrying with me the knowledge that I can completely lose it and my family will still be there.
That was really powerful.
I can lose my source of income and my husband will pay our bills and still call me “The most amazing Wifey Snous in the world” because I made him dinner. Sometimes just because I’m sitting on the couch in my robe watching Pretty Little Liars.
I can spend countless hours on a little blog that brings me joy, and my parents will read every post and tell me they’re proud, rather than asking “Okay what now? You gonna do something with that degree?”. I can cry a 876794th time to my mom about my body struggles, then immediately berate myself for not being “over it yet” yet every single time, she says in soothing melodic German, “Maya, it takes time to heal. Life trauma comes in all different forms, and you have the right to process yours.” I can rope my sister into yet another repetitive, “What should I do with my life?” conversation and she’ll still offer her calm, proactive insights.
It makes me feel safe.
I’ve always been the girl with her you-know-what together and this past year it was SO. NOT. TOGETHER.
That was foreign. I mean, there were times in the past I felt like I wasn’t doing enough, but it was more in an “I’m being tough on myself but anyone from the outside looking in would have probably said I was ‘succeeding'” kind of way. The past year was different. I wouldn’t say I hit “rock bottom” but I was definitely banging my knees in the shallows. This proved humbling but strangely confidence-boosting at the same time. I think having a new swimming experience in your Life Portfolio always increases your confidence…? I don’t know.
I’d like to know more this year.
More about what I want, and where I’m going career-wise.
I’d like to do more. I’d like to travel more (for pleasure. with Stephen. and perhaps for work but if so, in shorter patches of time). I’d like to earn a (much) larger income.
I’d like to be more of a peer to Stephen instead of a weepy mess who needs constant comforting. I mean, I will always be a sensitive human. I know he loves that about me, and I think I love it about myself too…to a degree.
And I love that he’s my rock. That he’s generous, hardworking, selfless, protective, positive.
But I want to be stronger. I’ve scraped the foundations of my spirit raw this past year, and I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to build things from the ground up, without tossing away the key pieces of vintage furniture that simply need smoothing and refinishing in order to shine again. In fact, I hope I already did most of that smoothing and refinishing during age 25!
God willing, I would love to have the best of both worlds.
I’d love to model without being away from myself.
Oh my goodness. That was a Freudian slip!!!!
I meant to type “my husband” and my fingers said “myself.”
I mean I hate to be cheesy, but
(Wait who am I kidding, I’m always a bit cheesy lol… )
That’s the thing though: Stephen and I became one on August 29, 2015. He is a huge part of who I am. Being away from him (for long stretches of time, at least) is being away from myself.
Feeling hate and disgust and fascination and animal attraction toward food is being away from myself. The real Maya Trevathan loves food and wine and dessert. (Yes I know “dessert” is “food” but it deserves its own category 😉 )
I’m not saying I wouldn’t travel at all. I’m not saying I’m not willing to be thin. In fact, travel and fitness and good nutrition are all passions of mine. And let’s be real, I strove to be thin long before I was a model.
But I would love to model around here for the most part, rather than navigating the lonely luminous lure of the big fashion cities.
Bealls is here, Home Shopping Network is here, and between St. Pete, Tampa and Orlando there are likely plenty of opportunities for an experienced, hardworking, personable model who’d love to have a healthy relationship with food and sleep in the same bed with her husband.
Is it possible to have the best of both worlds?
Only 26 will tell…
(Well I guess 27 and 28 and 29 and beyond will too.)
In the meanwhile I plan on working for those dreams, working on myself, and trusting my generous and guidance-providing God.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! And to my fellow Sagittarius babes: Happy (probably early) Birthday!!
p.s. I wrote most of this a few days ago, and have been hoping to fix the current issue with my site before publishing. As you can see, I haven’t. 🙁 But I wanted to post this anyway, so cheers to getting a bit Unmarketed with it!
Also, I woke up at 2:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep so I also shopped the Macy’s Black Friday Sale!
- Obsessed with this Swiss dot turtleneck!!! (I got in in black!) I can already picture it with a topknot or tight ponytail and red lips.
- I figured it was time for a new cashmere sweater, especially since you can’t beat $39.99! I got this in black, and can’t wait to wear it in Colorado for our ski trip.
- I figured I’d throw this cute fleece cowlneck (I got heather grey!) into my current workout/athleisure mix 🙂
- You can’t beat the deal on this set of sheets–$29.99 for 800 thread count!! They were originally $160!
- These Ralph Lauren pillows were only $6.99! Before going to sleep last night, Stephen and I actually talked about how we needed new pillows, so the timing was perfect.
Please excuse how ugly the widget looks! I promise the items are super pretty in the colors I picked 🙂