Photo credit @charlihoward; read on to find out why she’s my Girlcrush…
Another month, another Mashup!!!!
How is everyone’s June going?!
After what seemed like an absurdly long-winded May Mashup, I’m going to try to curb my enthusiasm a little here… Let’s see how that goes! 😉
Updates on Previous Mashup
- My $13 Clarisonic dupe still works! Knock[off] on wood! (couldn’t resist the bad pun!)
- I bought the cat-eye sunglasses (already sold out, but similar to these — $8), men’s pineapple tank ($8) and pretty white, butter yellow, and mauve floral sundress ($28) that I named as Wishlist items last month! The chokers I listed sold out, but I grabbed this red velvet one.
- LOVING the Organic Burst clear skin bundle! My skin is slightly better but I also started using this facial spray so I don’t realistically know which helped… I guess I shouldn’t have tested two independent variables at once lol. Either way, I love both!
- I haven’t read any of the books I listed. I got sidetracked when I found this amazing read for only $2 on my Kindle. I also am not sure if I’m going to post the Beautiful and Damned piece I promised… It got dark and self-pitying; I talked about a lot of the same “Acne-engulfed model can’t work; life crises ensue” issues as in this post. It just seemed to go with the “beautiful and damned” theme– in the most self-important of ways haha. (That’s one of the things I love about Fitzgerald! He gives you implicit permission to have a brooding, self-fascinated side– and feel glam [rather than like an asshole] about it. You know what I mean?!)
My Forever 21 Buys
Moving on to this month’s Mashup…
I grabbed some e.l.f. stuff for the first time! Um, WOW!!! No wonder I’ve heard so much about that brand; it’s seriously so good for the insanely cheap price. I got the:
- Foundation in “Sand”
- Eyebrow kit in “Light”
- Blush brush
- Eye crease brush
- High Definition Undereye Setting Powder (the only thing I wasn’t super impressed by; it doesn’t seem much different from my MAC Prep+Prime. I know that seems like it should be a compliment since MAC is a nicer brand, but what I’m trying to say is it’s just an itty bitty jar that doesn’t do anything mind-blowingly different from my bazillion other powders.)
I also finally bought a lipstick in this season’s hottest lip color: mauve. Revlon has been my favorite drugstore lipstick brand for years, and “Sassy Mauve, #463” was a beautiful addition to the collection! I also got the Rimmel London lip contouring pencil in “Mauve Shimmer” and it’s the perfect match.
Most important beauty update: I FINALLY GOT MY FIVE-INCH ROOTS FIXED!!!
[Similar Overalls // “Sassy Mauve” Lipstick // Shirt // Similar Earrings]
When I first went on my modeling break, my agent said, “Just give your hair a break and let it get healthy!”
I was thrilled!! I spoiled it, letting in bathe alternately in my Olaplex treatment (available for purchase at some salons), the awesome Argan hair oil that my mom gets me for Christmas every year, or my current drugstore fave.
I kinda liked my Grunge Girl roots, and had some fun with edgier styles like a middle parted low pony a la Kim K (here) or even slicking it all back super tightly.
However, when I realized my medications weren’t working and that my *little break* was going to be far longer than anticipated, I did an immediate psychological 180 and decided I hated the roots.
On Saturday I saw Carlton at Eclipse Salon in Asheville and I love how the new hair turned out!
Major Girl Crush — Charli Howard
So I was casually insta stalking Ally Ertel, a sweet, successful model I met once (she has such a cool look!) and my jaw hit the floor when I saw a picture of her with an absolutely magnetizing model friend.
A week later, I was on Youtube and this video popped up.
“Wow, that girl is pretty!” I thought, and clicked on it.
Turns out it was the same young woman, one by the name of Charli Howard.
You guys, she is more than just stunning! She’s honest and intelligent. She’s strong yet vulnerable. She’s rebellious yet refined.
And I could relate to SO many things she talked about during that video.
Tears started rolling down my face when she talked about how her food paranoia/not wanting to go on dinner dates ruined things with her ex-boyfriend. Stephen and I had some of the most agonizing moments of our relationship during 2015… for the exact same reason.
Luckily our fights brought us closer together. The roots of our relationship plunged more deeply into nutrient-rich soil, muscling any cold, densely buried boulders out of the way and ultimately quenching all our thirsts. I was catapulted to an entirely new galaxy of appreciation… and appreciatedness.
[Bell-sleeved pompom Romper ($18!!)]
Going through those things was tough, but I got to experience the breadth of my own strength and the solidity of my then-fiance’s commitment to me. And I’m proud to say I’m now at a healthy (both physical and emotional) place when it comes to body, fitness, and food. Perhaps my healthiest ever!
However, watching that video was unexpectedly cathartic for me. My heart split for the beautiful brunette whose love story with her ex had a different ending.
I cried for her and for myself and for every woman who’s ever hated what she saw in the mirror, for every woman who pushed away the man saying “You’re beautiful!” on a day she felt ugly, for every woman who ever thought of food as the leering shapeless monster under her bed.
And I laughed.
I laughed because Charli was sassy and funny and real. I laughed because she perfectly articulated (in her charming Britsh accent) many of the issues facing any young model– and many young women in general.
I also took some major notes on her no-nonsense attitude.
The world needs more people like Charli Howard! I think she’s an excellent role model (see what I did there?!) for young women everywhere. Body positivity is such a personal and complex topic, and I think we could all stand to learn a thing or two. I was listening to the Oh Boy podcast the other day, and one of the interviewees said very casually, “Well I don’t think any woman has a totally healthy relationship with food.”
I almost dropped the plate I was washing! I was so taken aback by how she just chucked this weighted truth (okay, I promise I’m done with the puns!) on everyone’s heads in the same matter-of-fact way a person might teach a child that 5+3=8.
“I don’t think any woman has a totally healthy relationship with food.”
I, for one, was relieved.
I struggled with body positivity and self-image long before my modeling career was even a glimmer on
the horizon a shiny designer shoe. I think most women (heck, most people!) have to grapple with that, especially in their teens.
At the time, I “knew” other girls struggled with the same issues, but my heart dismissed that fact in its valiant quest to feel alienated.
So yes, I was relieved when I heard a podcast guest (I forget who it was, by the way) cheerfully mention that we’re all a little weird about food. But then I also felt sad.
The thing is, I don’t want a world where, “Hey, we’re all at least a little fucked up when it comes to, oh you know, that *substance keeping us alive*!” is the norm.
We are imperfect at loving ourselves.
Eating is part of loving ourselves.
We are imperfect at eating.
But with the help of pioneers like Charli, we can start improving those two bookends. We can teach ourselves that 5+3=8.
It really does equal eight. I promise. Have a piece of fresh-baked thin-crust arugula mushroom pizza while you do your math homework!
I love what you’re fighting for, Charli Howard. I love what you’re making peace with. I love what you’re doing for women everywhere. What a breathtakingly gorgeous human being you are, inside and out!
Seriously… YOU GO GIRL.
Images of Charli were taken from her instagram account, @charlihoward!
I recommend taking a few minutes to watch the inspiring Youtube video I talked about. If you want to know more, you can also check out Charli’s website and the famous Facebook post that became a turning point in her career/life.
Images of me and Stephen were taken by our cool server at Carmel’s Kitchen and Bar. 😉
All the elaborations on and interpretations of Charli’s mission are, of course, my own.
An Office Affair
Speaking (sort of) of my wonderful husband, I’m now officially working part-time for Stephen’s company, Arclight Interactive. I thought long and hard about it, because pretty much everyone I talked to said working together can be rough on relationships. However, my alternatives were:
- Get a temporary “doesn’t use my degree” job like waiting tables
- Try to find a “professional” job (I put that in quotes because I feel like there’s a vast grey area as to what jobs are “professional”… but you get what I mean) and then likely never go back to modeling. (I mean, it’s hard enough to find a job. If I were lucky enough to quickly find an office job, would I really, realistically quit after 5-6 months? Probably not.)
- Continue to blog and verb-form-of-housewife (Sorry, but my ego told me I’m too young and trendy for the word “homemake” 😉 ) all day while Stephen carries the financial burden of our household
None of the above felt right.
The option I considered most was actually the first one. It appealed to me to have some kind of fun, sociable job in a pretty boutique or elegant wine bar.
However, I’ve worked so many jobs like that in the past and felt kinda “been there, done that.” Not to mention putting on makeup multiple days a week and being in and out of a hot, greasy kitchen (if I’d opted for a serving job) could have slowed the progress of my skin.
So far things are really good!! I’m mainly doing content creation, and am learning a lot. Stephen’s company is growing at a steady rate and if I hadn’t decided to work for him, he’d have had to hire a different employee soon. It feels nice to keep that money in the family! More to spend on clothes 😉
Having a part-time job has also positively impacted my Maya UnMarketed productivity. My dad used to always say, “If you want something done, give it to someone who’s already busy!” and that’s so true. I tend to be a slow, indecisive, methodic worker, and the extra responsibility has lit a fire under me to finish my own stuff in slightly less time.
Furthermore, if I ever experience joint aches, depression, fatigue, or any of the side effects that can come with Accutane, I know my “boss” will let me take a Netflix And Chill break. I’m grateful for how things are going and am so proud of my handsome businessman!
So I’m into this small, brand new, artsy show… you’ve probably never heard of it… it’s super intellectual…
KIDDING I’VE BEEN WATCHING THE BACHELORETTE DUH.
I feel like The Bachelorette/The Bachelor is always such a great guilty pleasure show. It’s just so fun and absurd and fun and… FUN!!!
(Okay, that last sentence sounded about as articulate as the characters haha.)
In case you want to know my opinions:
- It’s pretty clear that Jojo likes Jordan best. I think he’s is fake AF. In my opinion he’s a 6 on the Scale of Ten who clearly thinks he’s an eleven and a half. I hate, HATE his trendy haircut, and how he’s always running his fingers through it. I’m sorry Jojo, but don’t you want a MAN rather than a diva?!
- I think Luke is super sexy! He’s a cowboy and a veteran, and seems a bit more manly than a lot of the other guys. Stephen says there’s something creepy about his face. I agree he might have a dark side but dark side > frilly prom king personality… ya know?
- Wells seems to have a good personality, although I noticed he got a bit more into the *drama* last episode. Like everything else on the show though– it’s probably because the producers told him to do so. However, not to body-snark, but he’s far too skinny for my taste.
- Not into Sweet Guy James T. Don’t get me wrong, I like it when men (and people in general) are nice, but he just seems frail as a flower and if I were Jojo I wouldn’t be able to deal.
- Speaking of feminine, I didn’t like Grant’s voice. Shouldn’t a smokin’ hot firefighter have a lower voice than that?! The Bachelorette should be a nice launch into his modeling career though! Now that he got sent home, that jawline needs to go find itself a GQ cover…
- Evan, the sniveling, tattling, greasy-haired, spindly-armed little man that he was… Evan disgusted me. If Evan and I were the last two people on Earth and it was our job to re-populate the planet, um, I’m sorry Humanity but YOU JUST BECAME EXTINCT. I wouldn’t go near that with a ten-foot pole. So glad he went home!
- Alex could be hot if he weren’t such a drama mama (and were maybe a foot taller, too). He was obsessed with Chad and now he’s obsessed with Derek. He’s always talking about the other guys. Do you have a personality of your own, Alex? Do you have, like, you know, interests? Things you do other than talk smack… and act as a living depiction of the Napoleon complex? I’m kinda surprised he’s still around.
- I could take or leave Derek. He seems nice enough. Plus he looks like John Krasinski and that’s pretty cool!
- Robby went to my alma mater, which is obviously a plus! (GO NOLES.) He’s an attractive guy, but I’ve never loved the combo of tan skin + dark blonde hair because it makes a guy’s entire head look the same color. He’s also not as convincing of an actor as some of the other guys, but to be honest I think that speaks for him rather than against him haha. Probably one of the better picks!
I think I probably left a guy or two out but those are the only ones I can think of right now. Oh and Stephen says Jojo is “boring” but sometimes she redeems herself slightly with her appearance and we’ll get a “Damn, Jojo’s looking good today!”
I agree with the hub’s overall assessment, and I don’t even necessarily think she’s boring. Is she absolutely riveting? Nah. Am I drinking in every word she speaks with fascination? Nah. But I don’t think she’s necessarily “boring” either. (Stephen deals with my crazy self 24/7 and is likely jaded haha.)
Stephen used to pop in and out of the living room, but this past Monday he actually settled in (while working on his laptop a little– but still!) for the whole episode. And we made some amazing caprese sandwiches!
I’m currently reading–and loving– The Shoemaker’s Wife! I’m down with any author who uses the word “glittering” almost as frequently as my main man F. Scott. Sort of kidding, but Adriana Trigiani does have a somewhat similarly romantic voice.
My absolute favorite book of 2015 was The Paris Wife, and I think that subconsciously drew me to The Shoemaker’s Wife. The beautiful cover art and $2 (on Kindle) price tag didn’t hurt either! I’m glad this subsequent “The Something Wife” book hasn’t disappointed so far. I’d definitely recommend it!
- I’m going to grab the Mario Badescu rosewater spray soon! I tried my friend Hailey’s and LOVE it! It reminds me of the rosewater my mom always had when I was growing up… Actually I love that one too; maybe I should get both. 😉
- Speaking of skin, one of the bloggers I follow (who also did Accutane!) recently talked about this home microdermabrasion tool. IT BASICALLY SUCKS THE GUNK OUT OF YOUR PORES!! However, it costs $159 and that’s definitely a “think about it for a bit” price tag. Emily’s original post can be found here; the pore tool is part of a beauty product haul.
- How breathtaking is this pastel watercolor romper?! Why do I love rompers so much…?!
- I almost bought this delicate white rose-collared blouse and didn’t… I sorta feel like that was a mistake? Forever 21 chiffon is hard since I have no idea how the material will look in person. It’s so me though!!
- I’ve been hearing a lot about the Boots No7 Brand by Target! I think the bottles look so pretty and high-end (Is judging a product by its jar like judging a book by its cover lol?). Has anyone tried their stuff? I’m especially curious about the products below…
- This thick-striped, flouncy Bardot top is SO CUTE! I love both the navy and white AND the pale blue and white option! EDIT: second color option is now sold out.
MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL:
HAPPY (BELATED) DATING ANNIVERSARY to my sexy college boyfriend! 😉
It’s crazy to think that June 16, 2010 was SIX years ago!
I already mentioned Stephen a good bit in this post (and on the blog overall) but he is my world.
In some ways, it seems like just yesterday I was nineteen and wondering whether my dapper summer fling was taking things as seriously as I was. And in other ways, it seems like we’ve been together forever.
Like the past 6 years are the only years that have ever mattered.
I love you so much more than I could ever describe, my handsome, caring, wise, hardworking, body-mind-soul strong, smart, enthusiastic, incredible husband!
And I love YOU, my dear readers!
Have a wonderful Wednesday,
p.s. I think I failed at curbing my enthusiasm; this was almost as long as last month’s Mashup! If it weren’t so darn pretentious to announce that one has “a lot of interests”… I’d say I have a lot of interests! 😉
I had so many pictures of my cutesily posed makeup stuff, so I decided to end with the remaining ones haha.